Stress
by Airhead259
Summary: Drabble. It is the creatures in his mind, the monsters that thrive on his negativity, his self-hatred, that cause him to break down in the middle of the night, sobbing into his arms, helpless and far from prying eyes.


_Posted this on Tumblr a few days ago, and the response it got overwhelmed me! A huge thanks to everyone who liked and reblogged this - I'm still reeling from all the commentary I saw in the tags, so much so that I haven't been able to formulate a coherent "thank you" post on Tumblr itself._

_Anyway, this is a drabble based on a really cool AU by ramflega on Tumblr. I'm posting it here for "archiving purposes". Check out my Tumblr (makkura-taichou) for more info, and do check out Rams' Tumblr for general awesomeness (if you aren't following her already!)_

_As always, please enjoy and do let me know what you think!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, or the "endless nightmare" AU._

* * *

Stress

Riku is running along an endless corridor, grey and devoid of life. Nothing is chasing him, and yet the tight feeling in his chest refuses to go away. The walls begin to close in around him, and he summons his Keyblade on instinct; he knows that it will not help, and yet, the feeling of the weapon in his grip seems to fill him with strength. Without another moment's hesitation, he raises the blade and whispers something incoherent under his breath, before charging forward and slicing through the wall with one fell swoop.

Unexpectedly, it falls. But then again, nothing is unexpected here. It is always the same dream. Ever since Riku became a Keyblade master, it has always _been_ the same, and it will continue to be this way as long as he continues to fight back. For the enemies he faces in this realm aren't Heartless, or Nobodies, or Unversed, or even Dream Eaters. They are nightmares personified; true nightmares that always follow him, even during the day, when he is with his friends. They cling to him and whisper in his ear mocking every word that he speaks, and it is only here, in his dreams, that he can fight them for real.

But as many times as he has tried to hold them back, Riku has not won once.

With each dream, they grow larger, more menacing, threatening to consume his surroundings before he can even reach them. And when he arrives, they swipe and claw at him, and he draws his blade. Their voices are louder here, stronger, and it is all that he can do to stop himself from giving in.

The nightmares leave him scarred, and not just physically. When he awakens, the wounds are gone, but the hurt is still there, throbbing within his mind in time with his rapid heartbeat. He brings a hand to his face and tries to push the cruel words back.

'_You don't deserve them.'_

'_They will ruin you.'_

'_Just leave. No one will miss you.'_

Real enemies, he can handle. Riku has always been strong, and he believes in his physical abilities more than anything else. It is the creatures in his mind, the monsters that thrive on his negativity, his self-hatred, that cause him to break down in the middle of the night, sobbing into his arms, helpless and far from prying eyes.

* * *

"A sleepover?"

Sora grins, placing his hands behind his head in a typical Sora-like gesture. "Yeah, Kairi suggested it! It'll be just like old times. Whaddya say?"

Panic takes over before he can react in any other way, and he raises his hands defensively. "I…I can't," he explains. "It's…it's just…"

"What? Now that you're a Keyblade master, you're automatically too cool for sleepovers?" There is no malice in the younger boy's voice when he says this – only a teasing infliction in his question as he places his hands on his hips and tilts his head, a challenge in his eyes.

"It's not like that…" he insists, then lets out a defeated sigh. There are some things he does not want Sora and Kairi to know, but if he continues to avoid them, they will only grow more suspicious. And in the end, they may end up leaving him behind for real.

"Alright. I'll come."

Sora pumps his fist in the air. "Great! I'll go tell Kairi. It's at my place at 8, okay?"

He can only nod as his best friend turns around and runs back down the path into town. The voices echo through his mind again, but he pays them no heed.

'_As long as I can hold the nightmares back for one night – just one – I should be fine.'_

* * *

He fails.

All day, Riku recites the words "I am okay" in his head, over and over again. He feels the negativity fade away, and allows himself to smile freely around his friends. But that night, just as he is beginning to doze off on Sora's bedroom floor, he hesitates for a single instant. And that is all it takes for them to invade his dreams yet again.

A cold, clawed hand closes around his heart, and he lets out a cry of pain, unable to hold it back. The walls of grey are still drawing closer, but this time, he does not have the strength or the confidence to summon his Keyblade. And so, resigning himself to his fate, he drops his arms to his sides and closes his eyes.

Then, an inexplicable warmth surrounds him, and he opens his eyes again. The walls are gone, and he can see the nightmares in the distance, but they are blocked by _something_ that he cannot see.

'_It's okay, Riku. We're here.'_

He does not know why, but the words make him want to cry. They are kind words, spoken softly yet confidently, and he cannot help but smile even as the tears continue to stream down his face.

This time, when Riku awakens, he is not alone. Two pairs of arms are wrapped around him – Sora is clinging to his shoulders, while Kairi has buried her face in his chest. Their eyes are closed, but they are both smiling, and he can feel their warmth filling his soul, driving the demons back. Blinking back a few stray tears, he smiles and wraps his arms around the two of them before falling back into a dreamless sleep.

'_My friends are my power.'_


End file.
